Our Menu Has Changed

Let’s face it, at some time
We all need to call the doctor’s office.
We need to talk to someone;
A nurse, physician assistant, doctor.
We’d settle for any warm body
At the other end of the line.

I’m doing it.
I’m calling the doctor’s office,
I have to talk to someone,
I’ve held off as long as possible,
I hate to be a complainer.

I have questions,
I need answers,
I don’t feel good,
My meds aren’t working,
My symptoms are worse,
I feel anxious,
I’m having a meltdown,
I just need to complain.

I’m calling!
I’m dialing!
It’s ringing!
I’m listening!

Please listen carefully, as our menu has changed, and you are out of options:

Press 1: if you feel you’ve been f_____ by Parkinson’s
Press 2: if the song “shake, rattle, and roll” is stuck in your F’d up brain
Press 3: if you are angry and bitter because you have PD
Press 4: if you feel like shit
Press 5: if your medicine is making you nauseous
Press 6: if you are hallucinating
Press 7: if you think you called because you are hallucinating
Press 8: if you feel depressed and apathetic
Press 9: if you don’t care that you don’t care
Press 10: if you think you have been misdiagnosed and don’t really have PD

Press star if you need these options repeated, oh sorry, we will only say them once!
You should have been listening more closely.
You may hang up and end this call at any time!

Yes, I think I’ll just end it!