Our Menu Has Changed

 

Let’s face it, at some time
We all need to call the doctor’s office.
We need to talk to someone;
A nurse, physician assistant, doctor.
We’d settle for any warm body
At the other end of the line.

I’m doing it.
I’m calling the doctor’s office,
I have to talk to someone,
I’ve held off as long as possible,
I hate to be a complainer.

I have questions,
I need answers,
I don’t feel good,
My meds aren’t working,
My symptoms are worse,
I feel anxious,
I’m having a meltdown,
I just need to complain.

I’m calling!
I’m dialing!
It’s ringing!
I’m listening!

Please listen carefully, as our menu has changed, and you are out of options:

Press 1: if you feel you’ve been f_____ by Parkinson’s
Press 2: if the song “shake, rattle, and roll” is stuck in your F’d up brain
Press 3: if you are angry and bitter because you have PD
Press 4: if you feel like shit
Press 5: if your medicine is making you nauseous
Press 6: if you are hallucinating
Press 7: if you think you called because you are hallucinating
Press 8: if you feel depressed and apathetic
Press 9: if you don’t care that you don’t care
Press 10: if you think you have been misdiagnosed and don’t really have PD

Press star if you need these options repeated, oh sorry, we will only say them once!
You should have been listening more closely.
You may hang up and end this call at any time!

Yes, I think I’ll just end it!

Lynn McHale July 2014 Copyright All Rights Reserved

Neuro – Nibbles

Nasty nibbles in the Nigra,
Bite size bits eaten away.
Neurological Pac Man,
He’s here to stay!
He cheats, you say!

Must hold on, delay,
A lesser you, such a crime,
Already lost this game,
Depleted precious time,
No reason, no rhyme.

Neuro-nibbles in the Nigra,
A neurological foray.
A nosh here, a nosh there,
Curse the Nigra I say,
Cure the nibbles, now, today!

Lynn McHale June 2014 Copyright All Rights Reserved

Revised 2/19/2015

My made up word and definition:

Neuro-nibble; short for neurological nibble.  It is what happens in your brain when you have Parkinson’s disease, a neurological degenerative brain disorder.  The brain does not produce enough of the chemical dopamine which is needed by the neuro-transmitters to communicate to all parts of the body.  Therefore, each and every day, day after day, tiny neuro-nibbles occur in your brain as the dopamine becomes scarcer.  At the time, you don’t feel the neuro-nibble, or even sense it is happening. But, over months, and years the cumulative effect takes its devastating toll as the brain continues to degenerate, one little neuro-nibble at a time.

Did Humpty Dumpty Have Parkinson’s?

Did HD have PD?

Was his balance “off” in the story,

When he sat on the wall, and then fell,

Or just obese as we hear tell?

What could the King’s men and horses do?

Do you think Humpty should sue?

If he had been given L-dopa

Could he have been fixed up-a?

Lynn McHale  7/9/13  Copyright  All Rights Reserved